Five Reasons Why You Should Quit Your Job

Posted 7 months, 3 weeks ago at 12:04 pm. 0 comments

Most of us would stop working if we could. We incessantly crave for it, but that’s the only thing we can do: dreaming. Working a 9-5 just seems inescapable. I, Rey Pugon, however am a master at defying the ineluctable. I stare ‘The Unavoidable’ straight to the face and and name him dirty ones. I say, if you like to stop working, STOP WORKING; The following are the five reasons why you should.

1. If you leave your job you’ll have plenty of time to reading my articles, columns, and lists. That will make me a trademark name down at the Unemployment and Welfare offices. My fame is a small price to pay for you living your dreams. You’ll think of this when you see me on TV.

2. There’s a great feeling in quitting your job. You’ll be in cloud nine in 10 minutes, you’ll on the top of the world, you’ll be living the good life, you’ll be: -insert your own cliche here-. Then the worries start about the car note, the mortgage, the kid’s school clothes, groceries, and and how you’re going to pay the amount you owe to other companies. All this will probably depress you to the point of assisted suicide, but at least you had 10 minutes of freedom.

3. Daytime TV shows is considered the most breathtaking and fascinating television in the market. You’ll wonder how you ever survived without all those documentaries, quality soap operas, judge shows, talk shows, and judge shows where you get the sinking suspicion that the judge has been paid off. Mix all these shows with all the informative TV ads that air during the day that will ”Get a degree from home’, ‘Make $1,000 a day answering emails’,'Learn the Internet in 2 hours’ in such exciting fields as GED preparation and septic tank scrubber’ and you’ll not only wonder why you didn’t quit your job sooner, you’ll also vow to never work again.

4. In your previous job you missed all those calls from colletors and billing agents. Now that you have resigned you’ll be able to sit at home in eager anticipation of these oh-so-important calls. Toss in a few telemarketers, calls from the Sheriff’s Association asking for donations, and a few of those computers that call you and ask you to ‘Hold for an important message’ and you’ll have to sit back and relax answering these calls. It will be like having a full-time job all over again, without all the hassle of getting a paycheck.

5. Forcing yourself out of bed daily at 5:45 a.m. can’t be good for your health. Your doctor will proud of you that you care enough for your body to go as far as leaving your job. He won’t see you anymore, however, because you no longer have health insurance. But there’s no need to worry, after all that’s why we have free clinics. Sitting all day in a damp clinic waiting room next to young teenagers diagnosed with Gonorrhea is is another wonderful experience you will surely miss if you had kept your day job.

There you have it folks. 5 reasons why you should immediately go out and leave your job. Feel free to quote any of these reasons to your employer when you turn in your two weeks notice. If she asks where in the world you get that information say to her that unselfish friend gave them to you free of charge, and all I wanted in return was that you remember me when you get your septic tank scrubbed next time…

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